First day in college after 3 months...

Today, i went to college expecting my friend to turn up as it's her birthday today, 21st birthday, kind of a big thing you know...And i wanted to throw her a surprise or something, with a cake. After attempts of sms-ing my the other friend to ask her want to do something for her birthday, turned out she didn't reply me at all! ='( I felt so isolated...deserted...I wonder what is it that cause them to put a distant with me...sighs...I'm not sure, perhaps Im hated? for?? I don't understand...Sighs..I asked the other friend about the same thing but he wasn't fond of it either. I'm wondering what's wrong??? Is it me or them? Sighs..

I thought i could buy her a cake first to surprise her when I reached college though no one is helpful to do that surprise with me =S Unfortunately, when i rushed to reach college on time, while driving, i made a call to her and asked her where is she then, and she just replied she has something to do not able to go to class already. I felt....broken...I thought it would be nice if I can celebrate her birthday on the actual day..=( In a way, im thankful that I called her first before I reached the cake shop near my college! If not i bought the cake already when she is not turning up for class! Aiks...!

Sigh...not a good start for my first day of class....It's just 3 of us in this final year semester! Pathetic right? and today since my friend didn't come, so left 2 of us, one is repeating, my senior actually. Actually my batch very little "survived" =S Sighs..no offense but with such little people in my class, I'm starting to feel there's no dynamics and no...fun..Not much talking..ya know...boring...But whether or not others turn up, lecturer said I must not be influenced but continue to finish my final year...'cuz July my college is gonna move to Subang already!!! But for sure I don't want to repeat my whole final year again right?! NO WAY! *touch wood touch wood* Hopefully I can pull through...with His strength cuz...ain't good without supports around...friends around...

Well, in class today while having my briefing with the lecturers, we went into the topic concerning people judging others by their outlook and assume how they are inside is how they are outside. Somewhat, I find it half true half not. 'Cuz who you are inside will surely show on the outside, your lifestyle. But if that person is good at having a "mask" or "protective wall" around them, perhaps the cover isn't what they are inside? However, it seems that many people does have the natural effect to stay away from a person who looks "wild" to them, or perhaps "dangerous" to them, and after rumors and rumors, staying away from that person is somewhat logical. But I find it wrong to judge someone on the outside. Some might be true that how they look is how they are. It isn't for every cases. what is right is from the heart. And if you get to know the heart, you'll know their true colors. It's scary to know the people around you "changes" after some time knowing them...I hope it doesn't apply to my friends here..=S Sighs..It's such a dilemma to think what they think about you and the way they treat you is so.......sighs...I really hope I'm wrong...I don't know...But perhaps there's some truth in it after observing things throughout the 2 years...

So, is there something I could do about it? nothing but love. All I can do is just spread God's love to them...I guess...and hopefully it will no end sour..You know, i'm wishing to go back to the working place I'm at again...Sighs..Always feels isolated and deserted since high school! U.G.H.