A sad note

I know it's like finally im updating my blog, but sadly to say, i just dont know where to express ecept here - my sad note. It's been about a month i did'nt update my blog, main reason is im working now hardly got time to online and blog etc..It's good in a way that im not so hooked to internet now, its like a distraction but working life isn't really good either. Perhaps I'm so looking at things negatively now. Everything seems not a good thing to me...And what I'm about to express isn't good either..

I actually prefer not to talk it here but....just dont know where else i could pour out to...It's been a month....but not really a month. Not used to be?? in weeks? That's pretty fast you know? I hardly can swallow it actually...it makes no sense...at all...Sighs...that look, i didn't forget. But why isn't what it is now?? Sure?? is that an easy way out? that frus, i remember. that.....i remember too..but why something i thought its meant to be turn out to be like that?? Turn out to be so sour?? Why ignore? Why run away? Why give up?? Why???? Isn't it not meant to go down the drain? Those things.....Wow...Just a blink of an eye, it's gone??? Why??? Why want to rule out and give up straight? when it isn't that bad??? Why??? What is it??

Hard to breathe...hard to let it go...hard to just snap it away....Sighs...How?